This & That with Myself

I heard so much about this city and China, how fast it has changed and grew, how scary the crimes, what’s the attitude of the culture and etc… Positive and negative comments about the dragon. I tried not to be judgemental about a place that I have never been, I want to keep the excitement until I reached there.

So here we go,

SZ is just like the old London, to beatify the city, we call it "The Foggy City" 雾都(Ok I make that up, don’t know how does it call in English :P) in term of the air pollution level, no other city can compare with the suburban area of SZ I guess. It is very industralized at the most part, many trucks, cars, workers from the factory.

The downtown is very nice indeed. There are 6 districts that make up SZ; the city is huge! A lot like LA, very spread out and close to the ocean. Many cars, many people, many high-rise buildings, it is fxxking huge for a city that is only 25 years old.

What make me really surprise is the living cost there…it was higher than Malaysia! I can’t imagine how ShangHai’s living cost gonna be…everything is about 10 percent higher than my city. Looks like the poverty and the rich have a big gap, just like everywhere else.

Nothing particular make me fall in love or hate the city, in general, I think all the sterotypes about the people, culture and SZ itself are not exactly true, just like everywhere else.

Thanks to the special someone who help me find a way out from "pirde and prejudice", I will find out more about SZ soon!

I will go to Hong Kong tomorrow! And then ShenZhen the following day.

The company paid for my final interview’s trip, which is really nice! I hope I will have a chance to visit the city and HongKong, catching up with some friends over there as well!

I am not sure if I will end up taking the job and work in China, but China is the land where my ancestors come from, and is a country that growing crazily! It fits my criteria of life right now I think, I think I need a tough environemnt to dig out my cunning side Who knows I might have my own business in the future right?

Many people are surprise I switch my field, this position is not quite related to Psychology at all. But I still believe what my professor advise, he said I should give myself a chance to meet different human beings, the more the better, and naturally, I will know which part of human emotion I am interested in after a while.

According to him, the problem of many Asian’s students is lack of social experience, many of us graduated from undergrad and go straight to get master degree. When we get a master degree, then maybe PhD, then that’s the end for learning. And we might be only in our late 20’s, still a long way of life to go. If you didn’t become a professor, you will probably never learn again in your life.

Life is really a path of learning, and in the land of possibility of China, I hope I can get  a lot of lifelong experiences and knowledge out of it!

For the first time of my life I called myself a "Realist", because I start understanding the humor of violence. This come along with drinking scotch habbits and fake smoking. Duh…

Violence is like scotch whiskey, because the older, the better. We read the crimes everyday on the newspaper, we panic, we prepare for the worst everyday, and then we forget. What’s the crucial violence that we remember are those great wars, or some old movies you have watched long ago.

I see violence as a way of changing life, another humor point about these bloody experiences. How much we have changed our life to adapt violence? When there’s no way to fight back, we swim from the river to the pond, and we are trapped with these unmoving water.

Furthermore, we create unnecessary fears everyday, from our surrouding to what we eat everyday. Guess what? There you go, depression and anxiety. Think about we really living in a pond, still water, we just swim round and round everyday, when the water is polluted, we die.

Violence creates this pond of water, and what does it take to break the soil and make me a river?

The humor, I guess.

今年的九月九日还真的是久久不能安宁。

还好，我的九月九日过得平平淡淡。

近来全世界都好像很负面性的热闹，到底是那里出现了问题?

或许这个世界若没问题的话，就不会有文明的出现。或许人类若不好战的话，就不会进化到今天这个鬼样子。与其说我们活着是为了更好的生活，不如说我们活着是为了制造问题来让文明延续。

我渐渐对达尔文的进化论感到质疑，但是，适者生存却能解释许多问题的根源。

那做人应该知足，还是顺应世界，不断地斗争?

我想，我还是在我的无业状态结束前好好珍惜现在悠闲无虑的日子。

My 1 month separation with San Francisco.

1 week in Thailand…

3 weeks in Malaysia.

Countless interviews….

Some job offers…

Tons of bullshit.

Today I went to pasar (like farmer’s market) with my parents, and I saw this beautiful cat hiding behind the trash can. She had beautiful sky blue eyes which really amazed me! For the first time since I came back, something really touch my heart.

It is unbelievble how lifeless a city can be, besides working hard and spending less, bullshitting tv shows from another country and annoying radio stations, there’s nothing more excited than the scary news on newspaper everyday.

I wonder, how can the freedom of speech changes my situation? And I wonder, how can I stop bullshitting around myself and live lifelessly like the person next to me in the market?

Anyway, enough BS A day to remember Steve Irwin, I never like his shows but I love croc.

The increase amount of reality tv here is sickening.

I thought I can run away with all this kind of stuffs once I came back (because it is tooooo much), but I was totally wrong. There’s local version of "American Next Top Models", "Malaysia Idol", and etc… a lot of shows look similar to many British and US’s show, they just slightly changed the name and make it their own.

Because there are so many reality tv shows, it makes the fame seems easier to reach. More people can be famous now through these shows,  and these shows make it seems easy to join and success due to heavy advertising and marketing. People will do whatever they can to get little attention on TV; if they can’t really show their talent, they will follow the path of William Hung (and where is he now?)

When we have all these people come out from these shows and try to walk in to the entertainment walk of fame, we see the quantity, but the quality? These people mighit enjoy the feeling of superstar for a short-term, but how many of them can survive at the end? Is winning the competition shows their quality of being a star? How do we know the shows is not manipulated? How do we know if every calls count? How can we possible know all these?

And how much a young teenager understand they have to sacrify so much to get there. By joining these shows mean a few months or even years of uncertain future, with no income. In a documetary about Backstreet Boys (not that I like them…), it took them 3 albums to see the money went into their pockets. Before that, they didn’t have any income, extra money, their own apartment and cars. And how many Backstreet Boys we have so far?

It is good to have a dream to get into the show business, talented people should be discovered and be a great entertainer! But is this idea has been taken too far? Have we create more problems to the society than create a star? Are these reality tv like real estate bubble?

Please, spare me some good tv shows.