This & That with Myself

I told my friend a few days ago, business industry is the worst place to make a trustworthy friend. The world have been very cruel to me, and so ironic my friend even suggested me to write an autobiography about it.

Business is definatelty my least favorite topic of all time. Never in my life I have an ambition get any closer to that perspective. But I end up in this industrial, big time! LA is my least favorite city in US and see where am I now? Toyota Camry is always a piece of gigantic machine tank for me and I am driving it now. And many more…

The most ironic part is even I really don’t like all these stuff, my life is actually better than I expected, hell a lot better! So many amazing opportunities come to me, knowing high profile and successful people, and work with many talented people. And when I come to think what have I lost so far?

Well, freedom and truthfulness.

For me, if freedom is oxygen then truthfulness is water. I am very lucky to have many truthful friends around me so I am not that dissapointed about dealing with office politic or making friends with "coworkers", because none of these troubled people I will carry them along as my life move on.

I am more like an audience right now as I sat back most of the time watching the politic shows. But who knows I will be involved involuntarily in the future? I have lost 2 great elements for my life and I do not want anymore trouble.

But is it possible?

This is a world that full of selective listeners, you just can’t trust what you heard, you can’t rely on what you says, you might say 1 they listen it as 2. Is awful but is so true. I am glad my psych major help me hold on to that, I should just take it as another lecture.

Anyhow, life still goes on.

Geez, I have so many friends on the road this weekend. I am extremely jealous for many reasons! But I am happy for these guys, esp those in Utah….man, I wanted to go to Utah for so long, and  Arizona again and New Mexico! And I am so jealouse, even my mom was enjoying the sun bathing in Bali this week!

I want to go to Paria and Antelope Canyon for real, have to start planning! My job is killing all my travelling plan or maybe I am just killing them myself for being too responsible…

Anyway, I did enjoy this long weekend; my friend visited me from SJ, knew a bunch of new friends, met the first Singaporean in this freedom land( yes, then I met a few mores after I met the first one, haha), drink some soju with a sick stomach, sun bathing at Seal Beach, walked around Queen Mary, finally steam the fish I bought last week, Yummy!

Thank you for describing the beauty of those canyon, I slept with those beautiful images you created for me everynight.

I watched a video clips of Jordin Sparks, the new American Idol last night. She sang this song call "Broken Wings", I have to say that was one of the most amazing singing out of so many singing competition I have seen.

That prompt me to watched the finale clip but she sang far worst than her performance on Broken Wings. Simon still compliment her simply because he sang better than the other dude. You can see how these people try to create an exciting atmosphere for the finale regardless her not so good singing…

Reality TV is just showing the other side of how business should be "nastily" done. Nothing is truth in the virtual world or even your world, my world. Fake , fake, selfishness, capitalism…it reminded me of the Virginia Tech shooter. What he left for the world is to rethink the world he projected to us…

Maybe, bad guys see better.

I met with Yvonne last week before I read her blog. I rarely read others’ blog because for me, blogging is about self discovery so I am probably the most loyal of my own blog.

But this is a blog that you dont want to miss, very inspiring and please support Yvonne!

I was at the bay area this weekend.

My company is looking for an alternative location to set up the branch. Because most of the video games devloper and publisher are located around there, it is actually a good idea for us to move!! And I always like the bay area, I thought I always like it, I thought I always like San Francisco.

I spent my Sunday showing my boss around San Francisco, it is weird I didn’t have any excitement coming back to the city that I was so crazy about before. I was a tourist that day, I went to all the tourist spots that I had been many times, Golden Gate Bridge, Lombard, Presidio, Palace of Fine arts, SOMA, Chinatown…..etc.

It was a sunny day, the wind was strong, a typical day for SF but not typical for me anymore.

Not until Tuesday night I drove up to SF by myself to meet my best buddy, I felt the different. I passed by all these famliar places, and even places that I lived before (yeah, I moved 5 times when I lived in SF :P) I can’t believe it was not even a year ago. It seems so long, it seems like my departure was 50 years ago, alone at SFO, I remembered I even made a video about feeling good because I didn’t have to take Muni anymore before I got on to the airplane, as a consolation for myself.

My life changes faster than I expected and time didn’t fly as fast as I thought it is. 

For me, the city is so empty because I am so greedy, I took all the memories and every breath away from the city, and I am truly sorry.

I forgot when I started taking care of myself well. If the 10 years ago "me" saw the present "me" she will be so damn jealous. Why this healhty soul and body doesn’t belong to the 10 yrs ++ ago "ME"?

It is hard to believe I pretty much hate any kind of food when I was a little kid. I even took medicine on a regular basis just to increase my appetite. It is so hard to believe I don’t even like junk food and spicy food!! For so long, my weight was only 18 kgs. For even longer, my weight stay 32-34kgs.

Now, I ate almost everything (except dog, cat, shark fin in particular or any other animals that almost extinct), I don’t get sick very much and even when I feel sick, I know how to deal with it, how to push myself to feel better.

So she is sick, I showed no sympathy to her because it is just a light food poisoning, and I am sorry, because I know it is no big deal because I have been through and survive every single food poisoning that I had, so pardon my ignorance.

When you feel sick, all you have to do is make youself feel better, isn’t that common sense? People give you attention might make you feel better if only you feel bad about wasting other’s time taking care of you, so you better get your ass out of your bed and start feeling better.