This & That with Myself

So I landed again early morning at JFK, the different was, yesterday, it was a beautiful day for the big apple.

NYC is beautiful for the first time for me, my last 2 trips were not great due to the weather. This trip, the city welcome me with warm breeze and surprises. Yes, I bumped into a friend of my friend on the 42nd st. How bizzare that was?? I have never talk to this person my whole life in highschool but he shouted my name and I recognized him immediately! He said New Yorker always know where they are heading and they will be very focus on walking, but he was taking a day off that’s why his sight was wondering around and noticed me. Ah, fate!

I live with my buddy at Flushing. A town that I am so familiar with but never been before. the F-L-U-S-H-I-N-G used to be the most beautiful words that I can ever write on an envolope. The number xxx-xx that make me curious about why there’s a dash in between.

When I am apporaching Flushing, I was reading on train 7, heading the opposite direction from Mahattan. I read this line from Sputnik Sweetheart by Murakami twice before I closed the book and started to think:

"When did my youth slip away from me?"

I think, my youth is slipping away from me after I stop doing all the crazy stuffs that I used to. I don’t dream as hard as before, I don’t make compulsive decision and I have good night sleep every night.

I was in the same train with you, you came in and you got out, probably from the same door, same station. You probably was reading a book at the same seat with that arrogant look in your Gucci jeans.

Did you look at Manhattan admirely like I did? Did you notice that building full of graffiti? Did you walk on this street and suddenly feel hungry like me? Did you notice the guy at the corner, who might have been sitting there for so many years?

Did you know one day, in our life, we will never meet?

I know, I should probably stop reading Murakami after this book. At least, I shouldn’t read them on a train in New York City. Luckily, there’s this powerful message that gave me the strength to go through the book everyday.

This person that use to take the train 7 change my life, myself, my world, to a better direction.

2 things I love about Seattle in 2 days.

The air and the tap water.

That’s pretty much it No strong feeling about staying for few more days but definately gonna come back again, sometimes.

I was hit by reality.

My dream was smashed into broken pieces.

But you don’t put the pieces of your dream together if it is broken.

You swallow them so that make you stronger to face the reality.

Again.

Seriously, I am that kind of person. Out of sight, out of mind. It is because of experience, stress, and…well, I am just trying to be a healthier person.

But today is a different story. I observed so hard in order to remember, the movement, the feeling, the little little details for the past few days… I tried to make a right decision but I just realize, I am so inexperience in making decision, because I am an out of sight out of mind person, so I think, ya maybe it won’t bother me for long.

3 more days, everything that mean to me in this LALA land will be out of my sight for a while. And I hope what mean to me the most will be out of my mind forever.

I am seeing Seattle, New York City, San Francisco, ShenZhen and home. I have to look forward.

Everything have been so fantastic since Tiesto, I have no word to describe how I feel anymore.

Eventhough I went through a surgery on my gum, suffering toothache for more than 1 week, couldn’t eat what I want to eat, overslept everyday…but when you are in the good mood, then all these don’t matter anymore.

Once again I realize mood is so important for everyday life. If you are in a good mood, stay positive and feel happy with your life, you can enjoy every moment of your life fully.

I am so thrill and I am speechless, who should I say thanks to?

Another wonderful week is ahead of me.

I can’t feel my legs now but I feel goooood!

The best weekend in LA, the best of the best!

From yummy dinner on Friday, happy house party, crazy Highland experience, chilling at Venice beach, met my cool new friend May, my first Double-Double from In-N-Out, Tiesto, Tiesto spinning Street Spirit from Radiohead, driving home at 6am, napping at Laguna Beach, meeting Yvonne, and hearing a super wonderful news from my good good friend!!

I am exhausted, I am tired, I am happy, I am thrill!

My dear friends, you guys totally make the lala land a wonderful land for me! Thank you and keep on rocking!!!

I just got the strangest feeling…. my whole life, I never feel anything more strange than a minute ago.

I am glad it didn’t last long as I am typing now, the feeling sort of fade away…

Anyway, the good news is, a new born baby had arrived safely to this beautiful world.

And how many we lost when a baby is making his/her way out?

Life is too short to be negative, and we are too young to regret and sink ourselves into those untouchable past. We want to get thing right so we make mistake. Without mistake, we can’t make thing right.

We want to forget? We can’t, at least, I can’t, so I can only live better and do better.

So after 2 and a half weeks, my apartment is once again quiet and messy, as usual.

I should at least feel pathetic or sad to be on my own again, but I just can’t. The reason is probably … there are just too many positive energy in me huh? Move on move on, regardless, life move on.

Sometimes I don’t understand how can my brain just shut off from one thing and move on to another thing so quickly. On the way back home from the airport, I had a conference call with my lawyer, then went straight to work on my undone projects, had dinner and karaoke with my buddies, then came home continue to work.

It makes me think about a quote from Donnie Darko’s tag line- "Life is one long insane trip, some people just have better direction". So true, life is insane, and making the right decision for the right direction is so important in life. But the good thing is, we always have many option. Even we have two bad apples to chose from, still these are options.

Now I can chose to be sad and freaking depress about being alone like I used to be long time ago, or I can chose to move on and let the happy memories last in the air.

I have an option between a bad apple and a good apple.

Hell ya, I definately pick the good one!