This & That with Myself

My mind didn’t get a rest last night, I was reviewing myself and the evaluation turn out to be pretty bad.

So, eventhough I have a super duper tight schedule today, I decided to rest my mind and write this blog.

Maybe the older you get, the more you will find out what yourself is not good enough for. Or maybe, only those college non-serious life will create a happy creature that is free from stress and worry. Or maybe something that I lost, which is so important to keep me breath the air with happiness is forever gone.

One thing to be sure, the older you get, the less time you have. Today I wish I can have 25 hrs so 1 extra hr for me to be alone and think. Tomorrow I wish I will have 48 hrs a day so I can finish up the work. The day after tomorrow I wish I will have 72 hrs a day so I can catch up with family and friends.

When does time getting shorter and shorter? Is it we are wasting time in one thing or there’s really too much to do?

When I see what I want to see today, I will forget what I want to tell yesterday, then I will stick with this path that I don’t want to continue but something that is strong enough to overtake me and push me to continue. Because time is getting shorter and you think you gotta do what you want to do before regret hits you. Because of excuses. Because of because.

Because I just realize again, I know all the truth. Is there really nothing can be done or changed?

Next Sunday, my first wish will be granted, I will have an hour extra, and I want to spend that extra hour with my precious self.

Shall I regret, that day, I fail to forget?

The moment when the spirits came out from the street.

So today, I fail to forgive.

I guess I did all the right things at the right moments.

There’s no other feeling can compare with this feeling when everything is so click, when your mouth express exactly what your brain wants. When you say "Yes" means "Yes", when you say "No" means "No"; when you laugh, you laugh. At the right moment, your eyes make the right contact and that’s the moment that can last for a life time.

It is hard to imagine, besides this moment, everything goes underneath is terribly wrong and it will not lead me to anywhere close to what I want to achieve.

I want something that last, but not necessary forever. Stay as a realist, this is how I deal with reality.

So wassup with the passed 7 weeks?

Work, work and more work.

My sister wedding was the highlight. I love her wedding, simple, nice and unforgettable. My sis pretty much broke all the traditional rules in this wedding, man, I got a cool sister.

Trip to Xi An, which I would love to write more details about it when I have more time. But this is the first official trip for me in

China

, I did everthing that a tourist will do and I didn’t work very much =) I also experienced all the local night life, food, culture and people.

Travel by train in

China

was an interesting experience as well. A 15 hrs train ride from Xi An to Wu Xi during the Golden weekend was amazing, I passed by some old cities, Chang Jiang river, small farm villages, and I finally know what does it mean when a china man told you it is "very crowded". Too many people trying to get home during the Golden weekend, I was just on time to catch up with them.

Trip to

Singapore

, I just realized I didn’t really explore the city for a long long time. Since highschool?? I made 3 trips to

Singapore

and walked around a lot. I had a great time because it brought up many childhood memory, fun time with friends, shopped at some regular stores I used to shop. It was amazing to see a city that is so developed it hardly change over the pass 10 years.

In JB, new clubs open, same shopping malls, same old friends. Besides my highschool and some "amazing" contrustions going on in town changes, it is stll the city that scare everybody away due to the crime rate but I am totally fine living there.

I will miss all these, but it is time, to leave again.