Impossible
Last night, for 1 year, I made the impossible still impossible. So I thought, things will forever remain unchange, forever. I can only change myself, that’s the only thing that I can control.
Try to stand strong after another defeat, imagining myself pouring a glass of champagne helping the healing process.
Today, it takes 4 and a half years to make the impossible, possible.
I loosen up and soak myself in tears of happiness, imagining myself pouring a glass of champagne to celebrate!
Then it got me thinking, just really how long and how much does it takes to make something happen in the way you want, just how far does a person will go on waiting, for a miracle, for a change.
I always think, you just gotta wait, keep waiting, people will show you their best, keep waiting, and you will eventually be happy about the outcome. But it gets pretty tiring when you realize most of the people around you, they don’t wait, they give up. They give up too early.
Then I find myself like a clown standing in the crowd, shaking hands with people and tell them how I wish I can meet them 3 years ago, 4 years ago, 10 years ago…before they give up and lock themselves in their own little world. They shorten their vision and stay back, accept their life and everything else should be the way it is. They can only wear this shirt for this occasion, they can only make friends with certain type of people, they can only have chicken sandwich for lunch. They close their mind to the open world and forget about the existence of "going with the flow". There are still so much, so much a life can give, so much to do, so much to see, so many reasons to live a life in supersonic style. But they give up and they say they have enough.
Some common reasons to give up like, they got a family, they got a car to feed, gas is expensive, they got this and that to prevent them from doing this and that. I am sure life is full of restriction, but why, why not make the best out of it when the opportunity is just right in front of you, why don’t we change, why don’t we give change another chance?
I have a job that totally like living in a prison, but I am glad to realize how important it is to make the best out of it and carry on with my life. How to accept the fact that "there’s nothing I can do about it" so stop being stubborn, stop thinking I can change this, I can change that, because seriously, the easiest way is changing yourself and your perspective, give people chances, then wait, hoping they will realize and appreciate one day.
What if they don’t? What if nobody care about the time you give them?
Isn’t that also an outcome?
I would rather do it, then regret.
Trust me, it is always easier to heal than try to come back after you give up, completely.
So I want to be an expert in trying, that makes me an expert in healing myself from defeats and wounds, because they belong together.
If you dare to try, you dare to fail, and you dare to heal and try again.
This is a personal entry to myself, to remind me what I am and who I am today. Who knows when I will change again from now on. Is better to make an indication here first before I find myself slapping my own face in the future!
